Okay, it's been a while since I've signed on. A lot has happened since then.
A couple things: I started working at Panera. I worked for about 3 weeks and then went on my epic road trip. I drove to Chico first, danced there and met a couple cook people and hung out with some super awesome people. Then, on to Portland. I was there for two consecutive weekends of dancing. I decided to go to Seattle for 2 days in the week between them and danced up there too. All in all, I drove over 2000 miles, danced 11 nights in a row, and met so many people I can't even count. After that, I was back in SLO for a couple days then SF for another dance thing, which was also fun. And now back in SLO.
While in SLO for those 3 days, I decided that I wasn't going to think about kissing the boy anymore, I was going to kiss him. So I did. And we spend two days kissing, and then I left again.
Now I'm back. I got fired from Panera this morning and all I want to do is either drink everything away or get out of town. Kind of depressing, ey? There is another dance thing this weekend in LA that I'm thinking about going to... The only thing is that if I go, I'm just spending more money that I no longer have the income to replace. I'm scrambling around trying to find another job, but pretty much I just feel worthless and pitiful. Want to know what I did today? I watched 4 episodes of Doctor Who and an episode of Torchwood (staying in order of air dates, of course). And I started making the pillow for the needle point I finished a year ago. And I drove around for about 50 miles after walking out of Panera to try to clear my head.
I'm a mess. I can't think straight... I'm not sure I want to. When they told me that I was no longer an employee of [insert franchise name here], I pretty much went into shock. I walked out in a daze, trying to make it so no body could see me. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to fall into outer space. I got fired. I've never been fired before! No warning, no slap on the wrist, fired. And that's that. I can never work at a Panera ever again. Ever. This was my safety. And I really liked this job. And you ask, what could you have done that got you fired? It's too embarrassing to even tell. I'm ashamed that it got to that... The managers said that it wasn't personal, but it was. It was nothing against my character and I was a great associate. But it was against something that is a part of character. I can't change who I am for a job, right? I was let off from my one day job at the bookstore warehouse because I talked too much and I was too loud and the managers didn't like that. Maybe I'm not meant to hold down a real job... *sigh* At least I got a good amount of money out of it. Now I just need to make sure that I conserve it until I find another job. No crazy money spending. And I really shouldn't travel any more, even though that's all I really want to do right now. Get out of town. Disappear of the face of the earth. If the Tardis appeared in my front lawn right now, I would hop in in a heart beat, no second thoughts.
I guess I'm being a little over dramatic... but I'm upset. I'm allowed to be upset.
