He's almost painfully cute. Yes. Painfully. Looking at him feels so good, but at the same time hurts because I can't be with him the way I'd like to. He;s going to be leaving soon so he doesn't want to have a relationship. But who needs relationships? There can be fun without any of the strings attached. We all know this! It is a known fact. But he doesn't want to disappoint anyone. Well, he did disappoint people, including me. I wouldn't even care for REAL relationship, I just wanted to feel him with me, feel his lips on mine, his body pressed against mine...
But it will never be. He mentioned he's still head over heals for another girl back home and that makes me feel like nothing could ever happen with him no matter what... He's just too early on in his life to believe this stuff. I used to believe it, everyone knows I did! I believed it for so long and so hard that it threw so many other parts of my life into the dust in it's wake. But now I'm over that. I like fun. I like no strings attached. Given, yes, I want the strings. But if given the choice of no strings or nothing at all, I'll choose no strings. No feelings. No later or future or again, I'll live with it for the once. It's better than nothing.
They always say, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and I am a firm believer in such things.
Someday I will find my strings.
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